A Knight on the Road
by Nikita-Lee
Summary: A bus driver may appear to be a nice old man, but you can bet he has a story or two to tell. A night as Ernie Prang.


**Title: **A Knight on the Road

**Author:** Nikita-lee

**Summary:** A bus driver may appear to be a nice old man, but you can bet he has a story or two to tell.

**Disclaimer**: Ernie Prang's Shrunken Head says they're not mine, and I believe him – this time.

It was a busy Saturday night for the mid August period. Perhaps it was the serious news of the mass murderer's escape from Azkaban; friends wanted to make sure others were okay. Perhaps it was simply a good night to be out. I wouldn't know.

The afternoon began at 3pm with Albus Dumbledore climbing aboard the triple-decker bus on his way to visit his long-time friend Elphias Dodge. It was a nice change to be driving in the country rather than the traffic choked city streets. I allowed my mind to drift, not needing to concentrate as fiercely as I did in the city.

Dumbledore was chatting away to Stan as I manoeuvred the bus around country lanes. From what I gathered, Elphias' wife, Renata, had written another romance novel, and Albus had been given exclusive rights to buy the first copy. It took me back many years to the first time the young woman stepped upon my bus, when Elphias had brought her back from his world tour after he graduated. She was a dreamy teenager, however a sharp mind lay beneath her wistful countenance. True to her self, whilst collaborating on the many alchemy projects she and her husband worked upon, she began to write romance novels. Of course as soon as the eccentric headmaster of Hogwarts discovered them, he became her most avid reader, earning his tacit right to the first published copy of every book.

Through my musings the topic of conversation had progressed to developments at Hogwarts. With the curse on the Defence Against the Dark Arts position still in full force, the elderly wizard was having trouble finding suitable professors to fill the role. With the number of deaths from the curse now totalling five in twenty-five years, it was no wonder there was a shortage of applicants. Just last year, the poor professor had lost his memory in an accident in the dudgeons, and now would likely spend the rest of his days in a long-term ward in the Spell Damage department at St Mungo's Hospital.

The headmaster was happy to proclaim his success in finding a replacement Care of Magical Creatures professor, and I respected the man for his decision to instate Hagrid into the position. I had long liked the half-giant (for what else could he be) and had not believed for a second that it had been his actions that had killed that poor muggle-born student when he had attended Hogwarts.

We came bundling down the drive to the Dodge residence and as he left, Dumbledore stuck his head around the partition and thanked me. It was rare that people did that but I always appreciated it when they did. A flash of light on the map of England alerted me to another witch or wizard in need of the Knight Bus' service. I nudged the bus back in the direction of the city to find Henry Ollivander standing by the side of the road in the outskirts of London next to his quaint little cottage. His wispy white hair, rivalled only by Xenophilius Lovegood's fairy floss, was flailing wildly in the afternoon wind.

His destination was Diagon Alley, which came as no surprise considering his occupation. I assumed the wand maker would be serving the night-time clientele this night to save his female assistant from any possible untoward business. Not the chatty type, the bus rode in relative silence until we reached the secluded cul-de-sac containing the Leaky Cauldron.

The Knight Bus was summoned from Hogsmeade and so I apparated the bus to the end of the Hogsmeade's main street. A few minutes later I heard a thunk and looked in the mirror to see that the giant had hit his head on the entryway. Again. That man never did learn to duck. Hagrid told Stan he was travelling to Diagon Alley and paid his fare. Behind him, Sybil Trelawney stepped aboard after her weekly trip to the Hog's head. She was more than slightly drunk, so although she couldn't tell Stan where she wanted to go, it was too dangerous for Stan to leave her on the side of the road, so he took her to the back of the bus to sleep off the alcohol. Following Sybil were a number of other witches and wizards who appeared to have been shopping all afternoon, if the number of bags they were carrying was any indication.

Hagrid proudly announced himself as Professor Hagrid and after the obligatory congratulations, Hagrid was off on a long-winded story about his new pets, hippogriffs, by the sounds of them. He seemed to have acquired the beasts through a friend of Charlie Weasley's in Romania, who had agreed to loan him the animals for a couple of months. It had been a very long time since my own school days, but I didn't remember ever seeing a live hippogriff whilst still at school.

We then collected a well dressed young woman who launched into a stumbling explanation that she was on her way to meet her boyfriend. Her anxiety rendering her even more clumsy than usual, Auror Nymphadora Tonks climbed aboard the bus. Confirming she was indeed headed to Hogsmeade, Stan told her we were on our way to Diagon Alley then would be heading back to Hogsmeade. Hagrid then joined the conversation in his boisterous manner enquiring about the date Tonks was meeting, and the status of their relationship. Tonks was apparently smitten with her date – the perfect gentleman, she said before tripping over the nearest bed – and spent the next half hour telling Hagrid and Stan every detail about the young man and their various encounters.

It was almost a relief when Hagrid departed at Diagon Alley, putting an end to the young woman's nervous babbling, if only momentarily. It seemed that our next customer, Madam Marsh, was a long lost friend of the young auror's, and so Stan and myself were again subjected to a very detailed account of the relationship between Nymphadora's suitor and herself. Also boarding at Diagon Alley were a young witch that evidently caught Stan's eye, as well as a renown apothecary owner, Master Ried. Thankfully, Master Ried promptly fell asleep, and the young woman Stan was attracted to sat quietly on the second level of the bus, after politely dismissing Stan's rather pathetic attempts at conversation.

The next stop was Hogsmeade, where Auror Tonks departed. As the young woman departed the Knight bus, she handed Stan her newspaper, sympathising that it must be a boring job greeting people.

Madam Marsh seemed to be having a hard time coping with the twists and turns of the road, so we hastened our way to her destination, Abergavenny. On our way, Stan began to read the paper, and an emergency alert flashed in Little Whinging, Surrey.

We arrived at the emergency alert, and Stan performed his little speech that after five years of service really should have been memorised. He finally looked out only to find the customer had fallen over. I peered around to see the idiot who summons the Knight bus and then trips, only to see a rather familiar face. Anyone could tell it was the Potter boy, but Stan accepted him as Neville Longbottom. Then again, Stan has about as many brain cells as young Neville anyway, so it was not overly surprising that he failed to question the boy's identity. I wanted to get a look at the kid, so I told Stan to collect Madam Marsh to escort her off the bus.

It was almost amusing to witness the boy's confusion as he spotted what he assumed to be a muggle prisoner on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Honestly, did the boy think we were in a different world or something? Of course we were going to alert the muggles if there was a murderer on the loose. After all, the man did kill at least thirteen muggles on the night of his imprisonment; he is as much a risk to the muggles as he is to the wizarding world.

I told Stan to talk about something else what he started on about the Azkaban guards; the memories had started to become too much to bear. I had visited Azkaban numerous years prior, and it had been an experience I would never forget.

We continued on our way, our route allowing most of the earlier shoppers to depart. Much to Stan's disappointment, the object of his fascination that had boarded earlier departed, forcing him to return to his duties rather than using every excuse to stay near her.

Finally reaching the city of London, I was glad to hear Minister Fudge at the doorway of the Leaky Cauldron; I had worried about leaving the boy alone on the streets of London. Of course I then had to humour Stan as he jumped excitedly aboard and dragged me out to see the person we had just been speaking to for half an hour.

Just as we were about to leave, Mundungus Fletcher gave a yell from a side street and bundled onboard, jangling as if he were a chandelier. Stan led him up to the top floor of the bus, quite possibly because the man could not have showered in a week at the very least. As Stan returned, Madam Malkin exited the Leaky Cauldron and stepped onto the bus, and Master Ried woke up and ran off into the bar.

Soon after we left Diagon alley, a smaller witch summoned the bus' service a few suburbs away from Surrey, bringing along with her a shaggy, black dog. Not a dog lover, Stan charged double the usual price for pets and put her up with Fletcher at the top of the bus.

An emergency alert from Hogsmeade flashed and with an almighty lurch the bus responded. A witch with dirty blond hair boarded the bus sobbing her heart out. Stan managed to decipher that the woman wanted to be taken home as her boyfriend had declared he no longer loved her. She finally looked up, and the face of Nymphadora Tonks approached the bus, led by Stan to the nearest bed. After much consoling by Stan and Madam Malkin we were on our way again.

Adapting the route to incorporate the new passengers, I steered the Knight Bus through the city streets, bringing Madam Malkin, Mundungus Fletcher, Auror Tonks and the remaining shoppers to their intended destinations. Finally Sybil Trelawney gave a shout from the back of the bus. Stan managed to piece together the word Hogwarts from her barely coherent speech; after depositing the infamous teacher there, we were on our way to Dovetown to drop off the smaller witch with her pet dog.

You can imagine my surprise when Sirius Black was supposedly spotted in Dovetown a few weeks later.

A/N: Yes, I made up Ollivander's first name. I searched around, but couldn't find any references to it, so I put in my own – I figure a bus driver would know most people in the wizarding world's full name – especially if they'd been around a while!


End file.
